Minutes from the 73rd Collins Family Reunion

There was a time when things seemed to be more certain than they seem these days.  This may not have been the case at all, however, one could surmise that in an age unsullied by the burden of global technology, there would necessarily be less immediate ebb and flow to things.  One flow that does not ever seem to ebb, however, is the perpetual food line in the Goshen Baptist Church fellowship hall on the second Sunday of September.

Last year, more than 100 of the Collins’ faithful and other better-known relations made the pilgrimage to the ancestral country church to once again strap on the family feed-bag, discuss who saw whom doing what when, and compare treasured family recipes for deviled eggs, of which there are apparently many.

Lest the revelry stretch too late into the afternoon, family President Anna Lee Moss endeavored to bring order to the proceedings by calling the clan together for the family business meeting in the church sanctuary.  Anna Lee, having had her patience tried through 9 children over 23 years, seemed un-phased by the family raucousness and issued a spirited, mildly threatening, call to order that might have earned her the title of a pit bull with lipstick, long before the term entered the popular lexicon.

An opening prayer was offered by Sonny Collins, which we could only hope took as it seemed up to the usual standards.  Secretary Wayne Collins was then put-upon to ramble off the minutes of the last business session, and, for better or worse, performed the task to best his capacity for such could allow.  There were no protests registered as to the contents of the minutes, which means they were either exceedingly accurate, or the assembly failed to pay much attention.

Anna Lee re-took the pulpit, which is an odd thing to happen in a Baptist church.  Taking charge, she then issued in a demand that everyone in the assembly must sign the family attendance registry under threat of an unspecified penalty should they fail to do so.  That was followed by a lighthearted joke, details of which were not recorded, other than the subject had to do with a goat and someone’s 60^th anniversary. Additionally, unlike the Sonny Collins administration, everybody seemed to get the joke right off, thanks mostly to an easily identifiable punch line. 

The jocularity gave way to the business portion of the program wherein the building of the lists began.  The family was blessed with a bevy of new bundles in the past year, which included:

• Anna Adair Miller – Daughter of Jimmy & Denise Miller and Great Granddaughter of Suzie D. Collins Eaton.  She was born on February 21, 2007, which ironically is also the birthday of Suzie D., though it was mentioned that the two are probably at least 39 years apart.
• Ava Grace Rogers – Born to Kevin and April Rogers, the 2^nd Great Granddaughter of Yteva Bennett.

The year, unfortunately, also brought the passing of some of our more stalwart family members, including:

• Estelle Hughes, our most seasoned member, who passed August 7, 2007 at age 96.
• Whitey Butler, who for many years made the family sound better at singing than we actually were, passed July 29, 2007.
• Norma Collins, widow of Jack Collins, who passed away February 2^nd, 2007.

On a happier note, a few couples jumped the broom into wedded bliss during the year previous:

• Mark Neves married Vanessa Poulos on November 25, 2006.
• Brett Stancil to Martha Cox on March 30, 2007.  Brett is the son of Kim and Ricky Stancil.
• Scott Hastey married to someone, but as to whom, no one could rightly remember.  More information was to come.

Anna Lee took the opportunity to offer several of her daughters up for possible matrimony, which drew criticism from some in the assembly who reminded the president in no uncertain terms that “this ain’t Alabama”

The mantle of our most seasoned family members passed to Suzy D. Eaton, who checks in at 93 years strong.  If anyone was more seasoned, they didn’t own up to it.

The youngest attendee goes went to Lee Rodriguez, grandson of Anna Lee and Ronnie Moss.  A glutton for punishment, Anna Lee used the opportunity to make an audacious pitch for even more grandchildren.

The man-mile award came down to a contest between Asheville and Nashville.  After some consultation and coercion, it was decided the award should go to Sonny Collins from Nashville.

First timers to this years reunion were:  Lee Rodriguez, Heather Merritt (wife of Mark Merritt) and Amy Moss, whom we suspect was there under some coercion as her mother was presiding over the affair.

Anna Lee then took the opportunity to offer her innovation to the annual proceedings by reciting a poem about the joys of ancestors.  The assembly responded favorably to the attempt at culture, but may have been mostly impressed with the variety of big words embedded in the tome, and president’s ability to annunciate what seemed to be a solid majority of them.

Ann Collins Merritt was then put-upon to offer up a brief, 3-minute history of the Collins clan, touching upon highlights of the last 200 or so years.  In an impressive display of self-editing, she managed to span roughly 110 years, ending with Thomas Roberts Collins setting up housekeeping at the red barn on the corner of Jerusalem Church Road.

As the natives were getting a bit restless, the president decided it was time to pass the family hat, lest the assembly depart without an opportunity to shore up the family treasury for another year.

Before bringing the session to a close, Anna Lee strongly encouraged those assembled to visit the family cemetery so as to admire the handiwork of John Bennett’s grounds keeping efforts. Not that it would make you any more keen to take up residence there just yet, but could still be worth the gas.

With that soaring and inspirational gem of rhetoric, and the usual rendition of “Blest be the Tie”, the 73rd Collins Family Reunion was adjourned.