Minutes from the 77th Collins Family Reunion

Neither rain, sleet, conference expansion, nor breadth of waist shall keep a member of the Collins family from their appointed date with the family buffet bonanza at Goshen Baptist on the second Sunday of September.  2011 was no different as about 90 devotees to good times and downhome delicacies showed up in the fellowship hall, plastic-ware and red solo cups at the ready.  It took little time to lay waste to the thoughtfully arranged, 24 foot long sea of sustenance.

At one'ish o'clock, the church bell rang summoning the most hardy and awake to the sanctuary for the annual taking care of the family business meeting.  Young Kyle Bennett took charge at the pulpit and asked Bobby Cleghorn to open with a right well-crafted invocation.  Then came the singing, led by David Mueller and violently accompanied by Alisa Collins who banged out a window-rattling version of Rock of Ages that drowned out the singing, after which all agreed that was probably a good model for the future.

First report was a cemetery update from John Bennett, who reported the family plots were similarly arranged this year as they have been in years past, and they were in as good a shape as he's seen.  He solicited a group for guided tours, but there were no immediate takers.

The immediate buzz was about the family photo taken out front of the church, which may have been the first since the first gathering in 1937.  Debate raged as to whether this should be an annual event, or once every 50 years, as suggested by Sarah Sue Cleghorn. It was settled that maybe picture-taking was an ordeal worth doing about every five years.

On to the business of lists, there was a quite a bit of repopulation to report over the year previous, to wit:

• Jackson Liam Maxwell born to Shane and Tanya (Collins) Maxwell
• Katherine Michelle Travis born to Kristin and Jacob Travis (great grandaughter of Yteva Frye)
• Joseph Collins Wise, Jr., born in Birmingham, AL May 1
• Elizabeth Hastey, born to Scott and Janet Hastey
• Alden Jackson, born February in Chicago (in the line of Francis Collins)
• Brett Collins Stancil, Jr., born September 25 to Kim and Ricky Stancil
• Hadley Lynn Merritt, born in November to Mark and Heather Merritt in Asheville, NC
• Kamila Anna Collins, born to Wayne and Hanna Collins, June 24 in Chattanooga, TN

There were no marriages to report.  Don Campbell surmised everyone was just having babies.

Unfortunately, there was one passing to report, Silas Collins on December 1, at 93 years of age.

The mantle of the most long-lived member of the family went to Howard Collins at an impressive 91 years of age.  He retorted that it was always better to be seen than to be viewed.

The man-mile award went to a woman this year, Tanya Collins, who hauled in all the way from Naples, Florida, thus keeping the award in her immediate family.

There were some impressive anniversary milestones to report. Both Terry and Kathleen McFarland and Anna Lee and Ronnie Moss had strung together 35 consecutive years of love and tolerance.  There was no move to strike a limited edition 25 cent coin in their honor, but there probably should have been.

A bit of history was made when it was reported that the grandchildren of Lou Collins was in attendance for the first time – the Baxters, the Jennings and the Lowes.  DeDe Campell was reported as a business meeting rookie.

Clan attendance award went to the family of Arch Collins by a landslide. The Andrew Collins clan quickly claimed the position of quality over quantity.

The pre-reunion dinner wrap-up was reported by Ann Collins Merritt who said that 37 heads were counted at Williams Brothers in Canton the night previous, and that the general feeling was that we should continue to patronize that restaurant until such a time that the family tires of all-you-can-eat barbeque.

Back to the whole photo thing, it was mentioned that there was a copy of the very first reunion photo on site for viewing pleasure, and that it was also conveniently available on DVD if you ever wanted to view it at home in your spare time.  Out of nowhere, a debate ensued over whether the picture in question may or may not have been a picture of a reunion, as it was a birthday party for Grandma Collins, and thus not yet officially established as an actual family reunion, but merely a family gathering. No final determination was made in the matter, but there was general agreement that too much time was spent talking about it.

In all the photo hubbub, it was forgotten that the whole passing around the offering plate tradition had yet to be accomplished, and it was plenty important to do so as funds were about dried up and the current residents of the cemetery, not being in position to earn their own keep, were pretty well dependent on the generosity of those still able to draw a breath.  Plate was passed and a nervous moment of counting ensued before the treasurer announced that the Collins family was solvent for another year, and would not require a government bailout.

With no further business, Alisa Collins attended the piano and David Mueller crouched beside the pulpit to avoide the musical onslaught as she belted through a version of Blest Be the Tie that called to question whether or not the 140 year old sanctuary could survive.  Square nails and sound construction won the day and the 77th annual Collins reunion was adjourned.

Minutes from the 76th Collins Family Reunion

Three score and 14 years ago or so, our forebearers brought forth upon this little portion of the continent, a new annual gathering, conceived in the finest tradition of excessive eating, and dedicated to the proposition that when you get 50 to 100 Collinses in front of a buffet, all dishes, hot, cold, deep fried or otherwise, are consumed equally.

Last year, the Collins family was engaged in said annual gathering on September 13, testing whether this reunion, or any other reunion so conceived and dedicated, can have enough food to satisfy about 100 revved-up appetites.  Following the culinary spectacle, the family gathered in the great sanctuary of Goshen Baptist, to deliberate on the proceedings of the previous year, creating a post-lunch resting place for those too sluggish to be active otherwise.

Thus, David Mueller, opened the annual business meeting in orderly fashion with an opening hymn, Victory in Jesus, competently accompanied by Anna Lee Moss.  The invocation was offered by Ronnie Moss, who must have done well enough as he wasn’t struck down on the spot.  A glutton for punishment, President Mueller demanded that the assembled attempt another hymn before getting on with the business at hand.  Again, all survived the labored rendition Leaning on the Everlasting Arms.

Following, President Mueller gave his inaugural address in which the following personal items were revealed:

1)      In a nod to the absolute critical nature of the office he now holds, the president failed to remember that he was actually elected president in the year previous.

2)      That the president was only reminded of same when he discovered execution of the grave duties of his office would coincide with the same weekend as the Georgia/South Carolina game

3)      That he was, in fact, from a northern state and thus as far as we knew was the first natural Yankee to be elected to the position of family president.  Upon this revelation, the assembly’s collective jaw fell slack and agape.

Having bared his soul to the assembled, President Mueller attempted to fall upon his own sword by offering to draw up impeachment documents and moderate a brief discussion on the many meanings of the word “is”, but everyone knew better than to take that bait.

Following all that, Secretary Wayne Collins attempted a reading of the minutes from the previous year’s business meeting, escaping almost unscathed and with relatively little bloodshed.

President Mueller again took the reigns of the meeting, thanking John Bennett for once again overseeing the aesthetic disposition of the Collins family cemetery, announcing that it was in his judgment “quite attractive and well-manicured.”  Fortunately, the meeting quickly moved ahead lest the president start handing out brochures and selling plots.

Thus began the business of the lists:

There were several admirable attempts to at least keep the population at replacement levels.  They were:

·         Caleb Riley Moss, born to Tanya Moss and Leonel Balle on April 21.

·         Alice Hensley Wise, born to Joseph Collins Wise and Allison Waters Wise on May 1, 2009

·         Klara Regina Collins, born to Wayne Collins and Hanna Dymarska Collins on July 10, 2009.

We were saddened to report the death of Suzy D. Collins Eaton on July 27, 2009.

Those who entered in the bonds of marital bliss in the year previous were:

• James Penland Wise, son of Douglas and the late Sandra Henley Wise, to Elizabeth Blount in Gulfport MS on January 9, 2009
• Tanya Collins, daughter of Sonny and Cynthia Collins, to Shane Maxwell in Ft. Myers, FL on May 23.
• There were again no cohabitators as we could tell, or at least they weren’t speaking up.

First timers to the meeting were Lee Rodriguez and Klara Collins.

The naming of the most seasoned member of the family descended into controversy, with Sarah Sue Cleghorn again being accused of hauling around the most age of anyone. She immediately protested.  Howard Collins spoke up with the unlikely claim that he was in fact born in 1820 and should be awarded the title.  However a quick check of facts with Aunt Marie revealed that he was in fact only 89 years old and thus disqualified for being too young and spry.  Silas Collins left the room to avoid being targeted as oldest at 92 years.  The matter was settled however when it was revealed that Pearl Bennett was pushing 100 years young, and thus retained the title for another year.

Considerably less drama ensued with naming of Klara Collins as the youngest member in attendance at 2 months old, probably because she harbored no opinion on the matter, and besides, she couldn’t say very much about it anyway.

The farthest traveled stayed with Sonny and Cynthia Collins, who drove all the way from Nashville Tennessee to join the festivities.  Pleased at the accomplishment for 3^rd consecutive year, Cyndi announced that they were not above moving to Montana if that was what it took to retain the title.

In a move to boost the treasury coffers, Janet Collins Mueller announced that pictures from the reunion and otherwise would be available on CD for the low, low price of just $10 if you act now, because supplies are limited and this offer won’t last long. Sonny Collins spoke and solicited pictures from everyone for inclusion, and that they should be sent to Jim Collins, who was apparently going to create the CD, whether he knew it or not. For reasons not entirely understood, all of that was mangled into the form of a motion somehow and approved.

The report on the day-before dinner at Williams Brothers Barbeque in Canton recorded 23 early-birds in attendance.  There was a movement among the assembled to move the event to another location nearby, and leave Williams Brothers as the backup in case an eating emergency of some nature should arise.  This motion was posited and approved, with the burdensome task of researching a new location placed squarely upon the head of Sarah Sue Cleghorn.

Another idea pushed by the president was the resurrection of colored name tags to identify the progenitors of each family member. A challenge was issued to all to move your conversations beyond the immediate family to the wider world of familial interactions you don’t get every day.  Thus will all of our live be enriched, or something to that effect.

Thus with that admonition, and a Carpetbaggers confidence, President Mueller declared his first meeting a success, and with the traditional rendition of Blest be the Tie, the 75^th Collins family reunion adjourned.

Minutes from the 75th Collins Family Reunion

The day opened auspiciously enough, with abundantly temperate weather for the second Sunday of September.  As per usual, bowls upon trays upon boxes of eats poured through the doors of the Goshen Baptist Church Fellowship Hall, with the lot of the 90 or so family in attendance affecting seemingly nonchalant poses in their staked out spots near the food table, awaiting the “amen” before they pounced on the stack of Styrofoam plates and started digging in. 

And so the 75^th annual Collins reunion was underway.   Around about 1:30 or so, the church bell rang as the signal for those assemble to holster their plasticware and hightail into the sanctuary for the annual sideshow known as the business meeting.  Anna Lee Collins, in the final year of her groundbreaking presidency called the proceedings to order the best that she could.  After a couple of false starts, she finally found her bearings on the agenda and asked John Bennett to offer up the opening prayer, which he did with no small measure of aplomb. 

Then, Wayne Collins approached the pulpit for the reading of the minutes from the previous attempt at a serious business meeting, doing so with a fair amount of competence, though several complaints as to the accuracy of the contents did arise. Those included several mis-assigned grandchildren, inaccurate birthdates, and substituting of the name Martha for Tasha, however that happened.  Having hashed those out, the secretary handed the pulpit back to Anna Lee, who was already looking to get this over with.

After repeated calls for new business failed to garner any traction, she decided to revert back to old business and get onto the annual tally of the lists, starting with the births.  Several of the clan were very successful in extending the branches of the family tree through reproduction, which is always good news, at least while they’re cute.  They were as follows:

·         Anastasia Eaton Neves, born to Mark and Vanessa Neve (neeves), January 31, 2008

·         Gage Christopher Stamey born to Sharon Campbell on November 8, 2007

·         Hampton Bradley Cox, born to Brad and Amy Cox, December 6, 2009

·         Ian Francis Merritt, born to Mark and Heather Merritt on December 2, 2007

·         Skyler Pearl Rogers, born to Brett & Sarah Rogers.  Grandparents are Mike and Robin Bourn Rogers.

·         Brooklyn Reese Rogers, born to Kevin and April Rogers, August 27, 2008. Grandparents are Mike and Robin Bourn Rogers, who apparently had a very good year for grandchildren

·         William Tyler Hastey, born September 17, 2007, son of Scott and Janet Hastey.

The call for deceased family members from the past year was met with a happy silence, which is also always good news.

Those who boarded the marrying train were

• Jonathan Edward Hastey, who married Allison Langeler on November 17, 2007.
• Kenlind Jackson, who married Barbara Pringle Claypoole on June 28, 2007.

First timers to the meeting were:

• Jimmy Parker and his daughter, Kylie
• Leon Cox
• Gage Stamey
• Charity Moss, though no one seemed very sure about that, including her.
• Christopher Eldon, though not actually related to anyone, actually showed up anyway, which was difficult for the assembly to comprehend.

The youngest among us was Gage Stamey, who hadn’t broke a sweat at 10 months.

As to the most seasoned family member, someone brashly accused Sarah Sue Cleghorn of being older than everyone else, which drew loud protests, most notably from Sarah Sue. Suzy D. Collins Eaton ended up successfully defending her most-seasoned title from interlopers, clocking in at 94 years young.

Speaking of title defenses, Sonny Collins managed for the second consecutive year to come the farthest to the reunion.  Mileage was not exact, but over 200 seemed close enough.

The shenanigans involving the lists completed, Anna Lee then deemed it time to pass the plate for the annual ponying-up to the treasury. Sarah Sue Cleghorn registered a mild protest that we probably had enough to cover the cemetery cleaning and anything else, but she was over-ruled from the pulpit, with the reasoning that since gas is still going up, we should get while the getting is good.

In other business, John Bennett offered up greetings from Linda Bennett Pennell, who had just weathered Hurricane Ike in Houston, Texas, and reported no injuries and little damage, for which all were thankful.

Anna Lee, smelling the opportunity to put herself out of a job, moved the proceedings on to the bi-annual sideshow known as election of officers.  The fangs came out immediately as Anna Lee was first to throw David Mueller in the nomination fire.  Terence MacFarland was next up against the wall, but escaped with repeated pleas of mercy, as his schedule would not now allow for the rigors office one must endure when assuming the mantle of power at the head of the Collins family.  While trying to bring her husband around, someone snuck Janet Mueller’s name into the pot, amid her vocal protests, which fell upon deaf ears in the assembly, of which there were many.

This set up what may have been first husband-wife competition for a presidency since the Clinton administration. The vote taken, David Meuller was elected to the office, with one vote against, that being of the candidate himself.

For Vice President, Greg Collins was once again elected to the position, nominated by his brother Wayne, who figured that he keeps getting elected, he will eventually have to do something. He was elected to the office with one vote against, that being of the candidate himself.

The Secretary Treasurer position was again thrust upon Wayne Collins, who accepted upon the condition that the duties of buying plastic and Styrofoam items for the reunion be hefted upon someone else, as Hanna needed the space in the guestroom back. Janet Mueller, bless her heart, offered herself up for the position, which will be known henceforth as Reunion Materials and Plastic Acquisitions Coordinator.

Having successfully fired herself from her post, Anna Lee offered up last chances for anyone to get their shots in, as they wouldn’t have her to kick around anymore.  Ann Merritt posited a question regarding the efficacy of members of the family meeting the evening prior to the reunion, which for the last four years had taken place at Williams Brothers Barbeque in Canton.  And also, if the family were to keep the tradition alive, did it need to move to a new location.  The suggestion that the family give up on the idea of a gold-plated excuse to have two jumbo-sized meals in one weekend caused not a little bit of confusion among the assembly.  After much deliberation, it was decided to intrepidly forge ahead with the additional eating meeting, with the admonition to reach for that magic number of 25, so as to trigger the all-you-can-eat barbecue buffet.

That controversy sidestepped, Anna Lee, as her last act in office, played us through a verse and a half of “Blest Be the Tie”, and thus thankfully adjourned the 75^th Collins Family Reunion.

Minutes from the 74th Collins Family Reunion

As is already well-known, God created the heavens and the earth and all things contained within in seven days, the last of which he took a well-deserved rest.  Had there been an eighth day, one might surmise that God, feeling a bit peckish after all that, would have created the Collins family reunion. The scriptures then might have recorded that “Fried chicken and casseroles he created them, and then God said ‘Let’s eat’, and he pronounced it was all real good.”

Such theological musings were not on the agenda of the 74^rd annual Collins Family Reunion, held September 12, 2008 at Goshen Baptist, the ancestral church nestled amongst the rolling hills of the Salacoa Valley.  Once again, more than 100 hungry kinfolks made the annual pilgrimage to run the gauntlet of food-heavy 8 foot tables in the fellowship hall.  Two straight years in three digit attendance probably means the word is finally getting around that there’s a load of free food to be had for just taking the trouble to show up.  As usual, the fare offered did not disappoint.

Come round about 1 p.m., the annual sideshow known as the family business meeting got underway, called to order in no uncertain terms by President Anna Lee Moss. After some misdirected comments that were not recorded here, which is for the better, John Bennett was asked to offer up a prayer to open the proceedings, and did a right honorable job, at least as far as we could tell.

The secretary was called upon to give a pained rendition of the minutes of the last reunion, which he did with the all the energy and passion of a sack full of room-temperature French fries. After enduring a withering barrage of corrections, the minutes were finally approved, but not nearly as they were read.

The president took the podium once again and randomly launched into the program, for whatever reason landing on new business first.  After some thoughtful discussion back and forth on the matter between the pulpit and the assembly, it was finally determined that the meeting should follow usual and proper decorum, which would be to begin first with discussion of matters related to old business.  Regaining her footing, the president confidently asked for discussion of matters related to old business.  There were none, so we move on to new business.

New business always means the building of the lists, and they were as follows:

• Marriages from the previous year:
• Jonathan Hasty to Alison Langeler on November 17, 2007.
• Kendall Jackson married to Barbara Claypool on June 28, 2007.

In a nod to the spirit of the times, Don Campbell asked if there was anyone co-habitating without the benefit of matrimony.  There were no takers on that.

Once again, many in the family were preoccupied with procreation in the previous year, as another truckload of births was announced.  There were:

·         Anastasia Eaton Neves to Mark and Venessa Neves on January 29.

·         William Tyler Hasty to …

·         Gage Christopher Stamey to Sharon Campbell on November 8, 2007

·         Hampton Bradley Cox to Brad and Amy Bennett Cox, December 7, 2007

·         Skyler Rogers to Brad and Sarah Rogers on November 11, 2007

·         Brooklyn Reese Rogers to Kevin and April Rogers August 22, 2008

·         Ian Francis Merritt to Mark and Heather Merritt, December 2, 2007

In the area of demises, there were thankfully none to report, which is always good news.

Reunion Meeting Rookies last year were:

• Jimmy and Kylie Parker
• Leon Cox
• Charity Moss, there were some discussion as to the accuracy of that claim
• Gage Stamey, who also turned out to be the youngest among us.

In the category of most seasoned family member, Anna Lee accused Sarah Sue Cleghorn of being the eldest, but it was in fact Suzie D. Eaton who clocked in at 94 years.  Sarah wanted it noted that she had many more years to catch up.

The farthest traveled title was retained by Sonny Collins for an unprecedented second consecutive year.  Nobody seemed that impressed.

As the nation was in the grip of a heated presidential campaign, so to it was time to shoo out the current crop of family officers to make way for new officers that would help guide the family in new, bold directions over the next two years, or at least show up to the next meeting.  So Anna Lee, eager to pass the metaphorical gavel, launched right in, but wisely chose to take up the annual collection for the family treasury first, lest anyone hold out based on the results of the impending election.

            So the circus began with nominations for president.  After Terrance McFarland quickly declined his nomination, Anna Lee, immediately nominated her sister, Janet Mueller, in an attempt to keep the presidency female for another two years.  Not entirely buying in, Janet nominated her husband, David, who acquiesced because it was probably the best way to stay out of trouble.  After a vote of the assembly David Mueller was elected almost unanimously, the only vote against being that of the candidate himself.

            With the whole process already starting to lose steam, the current Vice President, Greg Collins, was nominated for the same office, as it seemed the easiest way to get to the end of the meeting.  After a vote of the assembly he was elected almost unanimously, the only vote against being that of the candidate himself.

            Wayne Collins, not paying attention, agreed to retain the post of Secretary/Treasurer again, but only on the condition that his wife be relieved of the office of reunion organizer, as the house was simply overrun with plastic silverware and cups that needed a better home.

            Thus, the office of Reunion Organizer was created and Janet Mueller, for better or worse, was tossed squarely into that lion’s den.

            Just as the family was getting antsy to get on with their day, Ann Merritt decided to start a debate about continuing the pre-reunion Saturday night tradition, which involved the early-bird special at William’s Brothers Barbeque in Canton.  Lest the debate get out of hand and the whole thing blow up into a congressional town hall meeting, the president called for a quick vote.  Ultimately the vote was against change, and barbeque carried the day.

            Then, after a resounding verse of “Blest be the Tie”, the 74th annual reunion was adjourned.

Minutes from the 73rd Collins Family Reunion

There was a time when things seemed to be more certain than they seem these days.  This may not have been the case at all, however, one could surmise that in an age unsullied by the burden of global technology, there would necessarily be less immediate ebb and flow to things.  One flow that does not ever seem to ebb, however, is the perpetual food line in the Goshen Baptist Church fellowship hall on the second Sunday of September.

Last year, more than 100 of the Collins’ faithful and other better-known relations made the pilgrimage to the ancestral country church to once again strap on the family feed-bag, discuss who saw whom doing what when, and compare treasured family recipes for deviled eggs, of which there are apparently many.

Lest the revelry stretch too late into the afternoon, family President Anna Lee Moss endeavored to bring order to the proceedings by calling the clan together for the family business meeting in the church sanctuary.  Anna Lee, having had her patience tried through 9 children over 23 years, seemed un-phased by the family raucousness and issued a spirited, mildly threatening, call to order that might have earned her the title of a pit bull with lipstick, long before the term entered the popular lexicon.

An opening prayer was offered by Sonny Collins, which we could only hope took as it seemed up to the usual standards.  Secretary Wayne Collins was then put-upon to ramble off the minutes of the last business session, and, for better or worse, performed the task to best his capacity for such could allow.  There were no protests registered as to the contents of the minutes, which means they were either exceedingly accurate, or the assembly failed to pay much attention.

Anna Lee re-took the pulpit, which is an odd thing to happen in a Baptist church.  Taking charge, she then issued in a demand that everyone in the assembly must sign the family attendance registry under threat of an unspecified penalty should they fail to do so.  That was followed by a lighthearted joke, details of which were not recorded, other than the subject had to do with a goat and someone’s 60^th anniversary. Additionally, unlike the Sonny Collins administration, everybody seemed to get the joke right off, thanks mostly to an easily identifiable punch line. 

The jocularity gave way to the business portion of the program wherein the building of the lists began.  The family was blessed with a bevy of new bundles in the past year, which included:

• Anna Adair Miller – Daughter of Jimmy & Denise Miller and Great Granddaughter of Suzie D. Collins Eaton.  She was born on February 21, 2007, which ironically is also the birthday of Suzie D., though it was mentioned that the two are probably at least 39 years apart.
• Ava Grace Rogers – Born to Kevin and April Rogers, the 2^nd Great Granddaughter of Yteva Bennett.

The year, unfortunately, also brought the passing of some of our more stalwart family members, including:

• Estelle Hughes, our most seasoned member, who passed August 7, 2007 at age 96.
• Whitey Butler, who for many years made the family sound better at singing than we actually were, passed July 29, 2007.
• Norma Collins, widow of Jack Collins, who passed away February 2^nd, 2007.

On a happier note, a few couples jumped the broom into wedded bliss during the year previous:

• Mark Neves married Vanessa Poulos on November 25, 2006.
• Brett Stancil to Martha Cox on March 30, 2007.  Brett is the son of Kim and Ricky Stancil.
• Scott Hastey married to someone, but as to whom, no one could rightly remember.  More information was to come.

Anna Lee took the opportunity to offer several of her daughters up for possible matrimony, which drew criticism from some in the assembly who reminded the president in no uncertain terms that “this ain’t Alabama”

The mantle of our most seasoned family members passed to Suzy D. Eaton, who checks in at 93 years strong.  If anyone was more seasoned, they didn’t own up to it.

The youngest attendee goes went to Lee Rodriguez, grandson of Anna Lee and Ronnie Moss.  A glutton for punishment, Anna Lee used the opportunity to make an audacious pitch for even more grandchildren.

The man-mile award came down to a contest between Asheville and Nashville.  After some consultation and coercion, it was decided the award should go to Sonny Collins from Nashville.

First timers to this years reunion were:  Lee Rodriguez, Heather Merritt (wife of Mark Merritt) and Amy Moss, whom we suspect was there under some coercion as her mother was presiding over the affair.

Anna Lee then took the opportunity to offer her innovation to the annual proceedings by reciting a poem about the joys of ancestors.  The assembly responded favorably to the attempt at culture, but may have been mostly impressed with the variety of big words embedded in the tome, and president’s ability to annunciate what seemed to be a solid majority of them.

Ann Collins Merritt was then put-upon to offer up a brief, 3-minute history of the Collins clan, touching upon highlights of the last 200 or so years.  In an impressive display of self-editing, she managed to span roughly 110 years, ending with Thomas Roberts Collins setting up housekeeping at the red barn on the corner of Jerusalem Church Road.

As the natives were getting a bit restless, the president decided it was time to pass the family hat, lest the assembly depart without an opportunity to shore up the family treasury for another year.

Before bringing the session to a close, Anna Lee strongly encouraged those assembled to visit the family cemetery so as to admire the handiwork of John Bennett’s grounds keeping efforts. Not that it would make you any more keen to take up residence there just yet, but could still be worth the gas.

With that soaring and inspirational gem of rhetoric, and the usual rendition of “Blest be the Tie”, the 73rd Collins Family Reunion was adjourned.