Minutes from the 71st (72nd) Collins Family Reunion

There are certain life events that can be said to have an air of inevitability, like the sun rising in the east, the sun setting in the west, children starting out cute, then growing up to be really annoying, and everything weird coming from the West Coast. Inevitable may also be an apt description of the really long food line that develops in the fellowship hall of Goshen Baptist Church following the service on the second Sunday of September.

Once again, the Collins family and those closely related made their annual eating pilgrimage to Goshen, the ancestral church in the Salacoa Valley. Officially, 89 souls were recorded as attending, but the crowd looked a lot bigger in the fellowship hall.

Ultimately, the business of the family was undertaken in the church sanctuary, presided over by outgoing President Sonny Collins. Secretary Wayne Collins assailed the assembled with a recitation of the minutes from the following year. They were approved to be inscribed forever into the annals of family history, or at least written on the next page of the Minutes book.

First up was the unfinished business of the annual cemetery cleaning. As the current condition of the residents do not predispose them to accomplish it on their own, John H. Bennett normally, albeit reluctantly, accepts a certain remuneration for cleaning and caretaking services he provides on their behalf. This year, however, John H. insisted that his payment be applied toward purchase of new red songbooks for the church, surmising that $250 is a small price to pay if it might improve overall performance in the family sing-a-long.
Sensing an opening, the President decided it was time to lob a joke at the audience, something about a $20 bill and a $1 bill going to church. Details were not recorded, but it is noted that the joke had to be told twice and explained before the punch line finally took. Mercifully, this ended the old business section of the meeting.

The meeting then proceeded to new business, the first part of which involved the biennial sideshow called election of officers. President Sonny Collins, eager to give up the gavel after two grueling years in office, called for nominations from the floor. The first victim was Wayne Collins, who received a consecutive nomination for an office that had already been thrust upon him two years previous. Before protest could be registered, he was re-elected by acclamation. Feeling victimized, Wayne immediately nominated his brother, Greg Collins, for the office of Vice President. He was elected by acclamation before he knew what hit him. Emboldened by success, Wayne then proceeded to nominate Anna Lee Moss for President. Having a woman in charge again seemed to strike the assembly as a good idea, as it was determined the men folks haven’t done much with it. She was immediately railroaded into office, which everybody thought served her right.

With future leadership decided for better or worse, the business of the lists proceeded. Many in the family were apparently otherwise occupied for most of the year, due to the relatively large numbers of new births reported. Those were:
· Colin Evan Ulm—July 14, 2006
· Noah Moss Travis, born August 11, 2006 to Christin and Jacob Travis
· Sarah Catherine Hastey, born July 21, 2006 to Cary and Todd Hastey
· Camden Neighbors, son of Carol and Patrick Neighbors and Grandson of Jim and Pat (Collins) Hunt, born on October 27, 2005
· Henry Lewis Carter, first great grandson of Jimmy Carter (the President), September 2, 2006—apparently related in some fashion.

Unfortunately, there were two deaths to report from the previous year:
M.J. Hensley, Sr.—November 7, 2005
Sandra Elaine Wise—October 16, 2005 in Birmingham, AL

Most Senior:
Estelle Hughes at 96 eventful years

The Man-Mile award :
The battle over who came the furthest was between Linda Bennett Pennel from Houston TX, and Marion Barri from Allen, TX. As no one had a map handy, it was decided that it would be called a tie.

The newly married were as follows:
Brett Rogers to Sarah Powell in September (Grandson of Yteva Frye)
Mark Francis Merritt to Heather Huskes, May 13 in Weaverville, NC. (Son of Logan and Ann Merritt)

The old-ly married among us were congratulated:
Billy and Ruth Beard—married 60 years
Howard and Marie Collins—married 60 years. There was some movement among the assembled that a commemorative medal should be struck and awarded to Marie for her efforts.

First-timers to the reunion were recognized:
Annette Nichols and Dr. Elvin Hobgood from Canton, who came with Don and Henrietta Campbell
Jim Langford from Calhoun
Ashley Moss and Kristen Mueller – while they have attended the reunion many times, this year was the first time they bothered to attend a business meeting.

Following all that, the outgoing president introduced our distinguished guest. As the family is not used to have distinguished guests, this could also be classified among the firsts. Mr. Jim Langford, a historian in Cherokee County, made a right interesting presentation about the Collins’ of North Carolina. A summation of the highlights were as follows:

--The family left North Carolina in the 1830s due to drought.
--Mary Collins, the niece of Jacob Collins, was married to George Perry, who killed her for some reason, possibly over something to do with a ’possum.
--Mr. Perry was unceremoniously hung and buried near the old homeplace. It was said that later on some of the family dug him up and sold him off for use in medical experiments.

At the conclusion of the presentation, Anna Lee spoke up and said she had some new information regarding the historic, family-led massacre at Hinton Methodist Church. At this point, President Sonny asked if anyone had anything good to report about the family. His question being met with grim silence, he determined it was time to move along to the singing.
Bobby Cleghorn led the sing-a-long, which seemed to switch between the red book and the green book like a traffic light. As another first, the singing included a popular hit song by Cat Stevens, which was right there in the green book. The rendition, however, did not sound like him in the least.

Don Campbell offered the closing prayer and, following “Blest be the Tie”, the 71st (or so)* annual reunion was adjourned.
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*Ann’s note:

It should be noted that in reality, it was the 72nd annual reunion. According to Yeteva Bennett Frye after the meeting yesterday, it began when she was not quite two months old, in September 1934, as a celebration of the birthday of Nancy Ann Thompson Collins (born September 12, 1851; died April 27, 1944).