Minutes from the 70th (71st) Collins Reunion

The 70th version of the Collins family reunion dawned mildly warm and magnificently bright on September 11, 2005. Dewy grass gleamed from the sun-drenched rolling meadows that framed Goshen Baptist, the ancestral clapboard country church –an eternal landmark in an ancient pastoral landscape--frozen in time, the scene disturbed only by leaves rustling in the faint warm breeze that signaled the gentle fading of late summer into early fall, as has happened in the mountains of Northwest Georgia from time immemorial.

Not that anyone actually noticed this, as all 63 of Collins collective were conclaved in the climate-controlled, insect-free confines of the church fellowship hall, seeing who could most efficiently shovel the most food onto a 5-compartment Styrofoam plate.

Having failed to determine a winner in that regard, Family President Sonny Collins took the pulpit in the church sanctuary at about 1:30 or so to call the family business meeting to order. Past president Logan Merritt was called upon to invocate and did an admirable job, as far as we could tell. As Whitey Butler was not present and no one could be easily coerced, the sing-a-long was postponed until later in the program, in the hopes that someone in the family might finally become an energetic self-starter.

Wayne Collins was then put-upon to the deliver the minutes from the 2004 business meeting, and did so with at least some measure of competence. There was only one proposed amendment to the minutes, lobbed by Suzy D Collins, who protested that the secretary had besmirched the reputation of her grandson, Mark Neves--winner of the man-mile award in 2004--by stating that 2004 was the first time that he had ever attended a Collins reunion. She reminded the secretary in no uncertain terms that Mr. Neves had in fact attended the reunion on many, many occasions, and to state otherwise was a clear obfuscation of the facts.

Having been put squarely in his place, the secretary then proposed his own amendment to the minutes of September 12, 1965, where then-secretary Henrietta Campbell wrote, “A new son was born to Pat and Jimmy Collins.” The nature of the amendment was as follows: Wayne Collins, as far as he knew, was the first son born to Pat and Jimmy Collins and documented evidence showed conclusively that he was born in January of 1966, not in 1965. He was therefore not yet 40 years old, and to state otherwise was a clear obfuscation of the facts.

Both amendments were adopted with little controversy, though probably outside the accepted rules of order. President Sonny Collins, being new to the job, apparently didn’t notice, or at least failed to give a hoot.

Ann Collins Merritt then recognized John H. Bennett and thanked him for managing the family cemetery cleanup for another year. For his part, John H. generously volunteered to continue managing the effort, even doing so at his own expense if necessary. Amid a chorus of protests, the family made it clear that proceeds from the treasury should continue to be used for the cemetery cleanup, and anyway, if it wasn’t, what would we use the money for, as a family can only fill up so many Styrofoam plates in a year. The agreement reached, Logan Merritt sternly reminded the assembled that since they voted for the service, they need to pay the tax when the plate comes around.

Again, the business of the lists proceeded and was recorded as follows:

No perpetuation of the family occurred, as there were no births.
There were, unfortunately, two deaths:
Jan Truett, who died on June 20th, , 2005
Joe Collins, who died on December 5th, 2004
There was one marriage, on Uncle Milt’s side of the family
Joseph Collins Wise married Mary Allison Waters on July 17, 2005 in Asheville, NC, which, incidentally is the new home of Logan and Ann (Collins) Merritt.
President Sonny Collins, in an unprecedented move, then asked if there were any divorces, either final or pending. As there were none, Don Campbell, in a nod to the spirit of the times, asked if there was anyone cohabitating. Again, no takers.
The results from the other lists are now offered in these minutes, even though they occurred out of the usual sequence of the meeting. This was attributed mainly to spotty leadership from the pulpit. They were as follows:
Most seasoned and proud of it – Pearl Bennett (95)
Youngest – Kyle Bennet (22) (note: there were much younger people in attendance, but they chose to skip the business meeting for one reason or another, if you can imagine such a thing.)
Man-Mile Award – Sonny Collins, from Nashville, who has indeed attended the reunion many, many times in the past.

A report on the previous night’s dinner at Williamson Brothers was offered by Ann Collins Merritt who stated, “it was good.” She noted, however, that the room in the restaurant was only about half full. Anna Lee (Collins) Moss explained that that was because not all of her 36 children were there (actually 7) this year. At any wise, the feeling was that the restaurant was of such quality, that the event should be held there again next year, and possibly years following, until such a time as the family tires of all-you-can-eat barbeque.

John H. Bennett, in an admirable attempt to inject culture and learning into the second Sunday of September, then put forth an idea. He related the details of a presentation he saw at the Cherokee Historical Society Meeting at Reinhardt College recently, where a fellow named Langford did a fine presentation on the Collins’s of North Carolina. As those were our Collins’s, John H. thought it would be a good thing if Mr. Langford was invited to do the presentation at the next reunion, noting that he had worked and traveled all over the world and might be right interesting. Everyone agreed that smarter was better, and John H. promised to proffer an invitation.

Sarah Sue Cleghorn chimed in, saying quite rightly that we should do more things like that to help spur the interest of younger folks in attending the reunion, surmising that not doing so would eventually kill it off, and there would be no need for anyone to take the minutes of anything. Ideas included:
Name tags for everybody, perhaps color-coded by branch of the family so everybody could know who is who and from whom they came.
Family stories, so as to firmly record the antics of departed relatives for the amusement of generations to come.
Both ideas seemed to garner a good deal of traction with the assembled, so much so that the president called on some folks to relate a few stories. After a moment of quiet, the likes of which the family has not known, Ann (Collins) Merritt got a bug and related the following tale about Granddaddy Collins (Note: this is not an actual transcript, but is possibly a reasonably accurate rendition of things that may have been said. Or not.):

It seems Grandaddy Collins, being a man of the earth, had taken to plowing up the farming property at the old homeplace one day. By and by, he happened to notice Uncle Zack pulling up to the house in his car for a visit. Uncle Zack, being a man about town, was dressed as fine as any man of that time could hope to be, resplendent in white suit and tie, and apparently a sight to behold, at least from a distance.

Not to be outdone, as we understand, he rarely was, Grandaddy Collins immediately bookmarked the mule and the plow in their place and marched into the house, where he commenced to don his own Sunday finery. Himself now resplendent, he went back to the field and continued plowing.

Another Grandaddy Collins anecdote was offered by Yteva (same rules apply):

It seems Grandaddy Collins, being a man of the earth, liked to get up ridiculously early in the morning, ridiculously early, even for a man of the earth. That being the case, he felt it was also incumbent upon the rest of the family to get up, as well, even if for nothing else but to help him stare at the dark. As legend has it, his favorite way to accomplish this was to take a seat at the pump organ in the house, and commence to playing his very favorite song, “Little Brown Jug”. Reactions to such a rude awakening from Grandma Collins are, unfortunately, lost to history and the Lord, which may be for the best.

Following the fond remembrances, President Collins again pushed the idea of the family sing-along. As no one had become energetic or self-starting in the time elapsed since the last attempt, he coerced the talented Anna Lee (Collins) Moss to come to the keyboard and attempt to lead the sing-along. After a couple of false starts, the family did a reasonably fine rendition of “Victory in Jesus” from the red book and ended the affair with the usual “Blest be the tie”.

After a closing prayer, the 70th Collins Reunion was adjourned (or 71st. See minutes from September 12, 2004).