A light breeze and a splendid autumnal splash of sunshine colored the 69th annual version of the Collins Family Reunion, which took place September 12, 2004. Sixty-three made the trip to once again gather at the big marble table at Goshen Baptist Church. The quality of the food was such that many members made two and even three trips to the big marble table, most of them blissfully ambivalent as to the amount carbohydrates they were consuming.
Following the culinary fury, Family President Logan Merritt convened the business meeting in the sanctuary at Goshen Church. He opened with prayer and a joke about a preacher and a guy in a septic tank. The details of said joke were not recorded in these minutes, but it seemed pretty funny at the time, and was certainly tame enough to be related in mixed company from the pulpit of a Baptist Church.
Whitey Butler led the hymn-sing from the green book, artfully accompanied by Anna Lee (Collins) Moss on the piano. The general judgment from Whitey was that the family was in as fine a voice as ever.
Heather Bennett relayed the minutes of the previous reunion, which were adopted unanimously. There was some controversy as to what number to actually attach to this reunion. Legend has it that it began in 1935 as a celebration of Grandma Collins’ birthday. Yteva mentioned that she was present at the first reunion, evidenced by a picture from the event of her mother actually holding her as a baby, and that she was born in 1934. There was some discussion, but the issue was tabled pending further evidence.
Then the business of the lists proceeded. The results were as follows:
The man-mile award (traveled the furthest to get here): Marc Neves from Massachusetts.
The closest resident: Pearl Bennett
The youngest in attendance: Kyle Bennett (21 years)
The most seasoned family member: Pearl Bennett (94 years)
It was also noted that Estelle Hughes has attended every family reunion since the 1934 (Or ‘35. See above)
One birth from the previous year was reported:
Jackson Armstrong Miller, born June 7, 2004 to Jimmy and Denise Miller.
Marriages from the previous year included:
Tabitha Moss, married to Jesse Scott (May 15, 2004)
Jimmy Miller and Denise Melton (September 27, 2003)
Kevin Rogers to April Waddell (August 14, 2004)
Sarah Sue Cleghorn updated the family on the health of Joe Collins, reporting that he appears to be on the mend.
Ann Merritt gave the report on Saturday family dinner, originally scheduled for O’Charley’s in Canton. Due to a mix up in the arrangements, tough choices had to be made about what restaurant might be able to seat 36 for dinner on no notice. The eventual choice, Williamson Brother’s Barbeque, turned out to be such a hit that a motion was unanimously adopted that said barbeque joint be the location for next year’s Saturday family dinner.
With much trepidation, the assembled then embarked upon the task of electing a new slate of leaders for 2004-2006, as the much-ballyhooed Merritt administration was at an end. The assembly grew deathly silent and accomplished a collective slump into the pews at the call for nominations for president. Shortly, Anna Lee (Collins) Moss started in and began nominating everybody that looked sideways. Those nominated issued rapid declinations. Eventually, Sonny Collins (nominated by Mark Merritt) was elected because the assembly voted faster than he could decline. After promising to establish a firm autocracy, the President-Elect revenge-nominated Mark Merritt for the position of Vice-President. He was elected unanimously. Then, Wayne Collins was nominated as Secretary/Treasurer for no apparent reason as he had done nothing to anyone. The motion was seconded by President Merritt, noting that Wayne was “a business manager at the United Way in Chattanooga and could probably handle the treasury.” With Wayne’s election, his wife, Hanna (Dymarska) Collins (from Poland) was by default elected as chair of the preparation committee for the following year.
The last, and most contentious, issue of the day dealt with where the food should actually be served for the reunion in the future
The two sides were clearly drawn:
-Outside, as usual (weather permitting)
-Inside, in the fellowship hall (no weather, no insects, no problem).
The insiders noted that the flies nearly carried off the food this year, and if it’s not the flies, it’s the yellow jackets, and besides it was a bother to carry out all the chairs and then put them back again afterwards. The outsiders worried about the clean-up situation inside the fellowship hall after the food fest, and besides it was a bother to set up all those tables, and anyway, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Before it degenerated into a second Civil War, President Merritt called for a vote. The insiders nipped the outsiders in a close one, 12 to 9, with a number of folks not having a dog in the fight.
With bloodshed averted, President Merritt, as his last official duty in office, told a Catholic joke. The meeting was turned over to Whitey, who led the assembly in “Blest Be the Tie that Binds.”
The reunion was adjourned, which was probably the best thing that could have happened just then.
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